You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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