he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
