My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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