Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
