i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
