You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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