i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fuck appropriateness.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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