I puked a lego.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
