yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Randomize