one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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