scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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