i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
