fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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