So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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