I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Randomize
