Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
