You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
