I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
