i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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