You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
