yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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