I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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