3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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