As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
