Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
