It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
