This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize