I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
