you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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