some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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