I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
