I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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