I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
