it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
