my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
