How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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