u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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