I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
