Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
