Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
