What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize