I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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