Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
