I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
