from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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