went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He better not be in your backpack
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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