Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
