New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
