I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
