He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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