three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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