on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
