FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize