I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize