i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
