Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize