He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
